Face Down
by TwyliteLuvr
Summary: Songfic! Pre-Eclipse, mid-New Moon. Edward is still gone. Jacob forcefully tries to show Bella that she loves him, whether Bella wants him to or not. Who will save her this time?
1. Edward's POV

A/N: So, I was listening to my iPod, dreaming of stories and songfics to write and this kind of just wrote itself. Hope you like it!

I know Alice isn't supposed to be able to see werewolves in her visions, but I really wanted to write this in Edward's POV so can we pretend she does? I say we can. I'll probably write this in Jacob POV, too. Eventually.

Ok. So maybe I'm a little harsh with Jacob, but would the story be any good if I wasn't? NO! So if you worship Jacob, then you might be offended. But, you never really know what Jacob will do next. Because he really is a wild card. You've been warned.

The _italics _are Edward's thoughts/comments in the vision.

_Disclaimer: I own neither this song nor the Twilight books._

Face Down

_Song: Face Down_

_Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

_Hey, girl you know you drive me crazy  
One look puts the rhythm in my hand._

I lie here like I do every day. Trying not to think, feel, or take notice of anything around me. Because when I do think, it's of the angel I left in Forks. When I do feel, it's sadness for lost love. When I do notice things, they remind me of her. I told her I didn't love her, and she believed me. But it was a lie. It was all a lie that was for her own good. I'mnot good for her. But in saving her, I have destroyed the reason for living my life. I left her so she could be normal. I hope she's happy. It's been exactly 5 months, 29 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 28 seconds since I left her. A lot can happen in almost 6 months.

"Edward!" Alice screamed, running into my room with a horrified look on her face.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Bella –"

My voice shook with anger as I cut her off. "I told you not to look into her future. I promised her that we wouldn't interfere. We left so she could be happy and live a normal life."

"No, Edward, she's not happy. Not at all. You have to see! Please, look!"

"Alice –"

"Edward, please. She needs you. Just look. If you don't think that your leaving her was good for her after this, then I promise I won't look into her future ever again."

"Okay, Alice."

I looked into her thoughts and was pulled into a place much different from where I was. Bella was there.

_Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
I see what's going down._

I see a room. It appears to be a garage. There is an old Volkswagen Rabbit in the middle. The floor is made of dirt, and the roof is tin. Bella is in the room with none other than Jacob. Brainless mutt. They seem to be talking and laughing. They are sitting on an old couch drinking soda. Bella looks happy for the moment but she is pale and has dark circles under her eyes. She could almost pass for a vampire. Jacob takes her hand and kisses it, then lets their entwined hands fall between them. Bella stops smiling and looks uncomfortable. They continue talking and eventually, a smile returns to Bella's face.

_Cover up with make up in the mirror  
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again  
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you._

"Bella, I love you." Jacob said.

_An instinctual growl came from my chest._

Bella remained silent.

"Don't you love me?"

"Jake, don't." Bella pleaded.

"Just tell me that you love me."

"I love Edward."

Jacob was shaking so hard that I couldn't see his shape clearly anymore.

"Bella, don't say that." He said through clenched teeth. He was squeezing Bella's hand too tightly.

"Ouch!" She cried out in pain. "Jacob, stop, please. That hurts." Another growl came from me.

_Do you feel like a man  
When you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

"I'll show you that you love me." Jacob said gruffly.

He pulled her off the couch and had her back against the wall within the next second. His hands wove through her hair as he pressed her against the wall. Then his lips were on hers, and she tried vainly to wiggle out of his grasp.

_I snarled._

He was too strong and had her locked securely in the prison of his arms. He kissed her as passionately, but she remained unresponsive. He pressed her fragile body harder and harder against the wall and kissed her with more and more passion. His tongue was at her lips, yet she still wouldn't respond.

"Bella, just give in. You know you want to." He panted, the frustration thick in his voice.

"No, Jacob, I don't."

"Yes, you do. You just haven't realized it, yet. I'll show you that you love me."

_A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect  
Every action in this world will bear a consequence  
If you wade around forever you will surely drown  
I see what's going down._

_I see the way you go and say you're right again,  
Say you're right again  
Heed my lecture._

Then he set her on the couch, but this time he pushed her over so she was lying down. She tried to roll off the couch, but he caught her. He pinned her arms down and held her in place by squeezing her waist with his knees.

"Jake, stop," she pleaded.

"_Let her go, you dirty dog." I snarled futilely. _

"Bella, do you love me?"

"Jake…"

"I can't stop yet, Bella. Not until you see that you love me."

_Do you feel like a man  
When you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found._

He collapsed on top of her, kissing her again. This time, he forced her mouth with his tongue. He kissed her fervently. When she still didn't respond, he ran his tongue over every bare inch of her skin he could 

find. She struggled beneath him, trying desperately to break free. He tightened his grip on her, and held her still.

"_Let her GO!"_

"Jake! Stop!" She gasped, still struggling to no avail.

"Do you love me, Bella?"

"Please, Ja–"

"One day, when you love me, you'll thank me for helping you realize it."

_Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt. She says I finally had enough.  
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt. She says I finally had enough._

_One day she will tell you that she has had enough  
It's coming round again._

Then they were on the ground, Jacob had her pinned to the ground with his knees squeezing her waist and on top of her arms. She opened her mouth to talk, but Jacob put his hand over her mouth.

"Hush, Bella. Don't ruin the moment. What I have planned for you will make you realize how much you love me. Then we'll be happy together forever. I love you."

_I could only gasp in fear as I realized what was about to happen._

He pulled his shirt off. Bella's eyes widened in realization and shock. Jacob ripped Bella's shirt off and threw it off to the side. The rest of her clothes followed soon after. Bella's cheeks burned with embarrassment as Jacob gazed at her hungrily. She got over her embarrassment and tried for the last time to wiggle away before it was too late, but Jacob had her locked in place.

Bella began to cry. "Jacob, please! No! I love Edward!"

"Edward doesn't love you, he left you. I'm here with you, I love you and you love me. You'll see pretty soon."

"_Lies!"_

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has._

Jacob ripped the remainder of his clothes off and began kissing her frantically.

"_Don't you dare go any farther, you vulgar dog!" I thought._

Then two became one, and Jacob took what was Bella's. Bella screamed in physical pain and mental anguish.

_I was much too angry to form a coherent thought, my whole being was consumed with rage for Jacob._

"Shhh, Bella, I know it hurts. You'll feel better in a minute," he soothed.

Bella was crying hysterically, writhing under Jacob, trying desperately to get away.

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

Finally, Jacob let her go. She had stopped sobbing and seemed to be in shock. Jacob redressed her carefully checking for bruises he might have caused.

_Then I saw it. There was blood on the floor, Bella's blood. That mutt had made my Bella bleed._

"I love you, Bella."

"Jacob, h-how could you?" Bella began crying.

"Bella, I know I acted a bit rashly, but when you come to, you'll love and thank me."

"Jacob, I can never love you." Her tears were falling harder.

Jacob's eyes widened and several emotions flickered across his face. Anger, hatred, anguish, shame, sadness, and regret; he realized that his plan was a complete debacle. He hadn't helped Bella, he had hurt her beyond fixing.

"Can you forgive me?" He asked, suddenfly

"No. I don't ever want to see you again."

_Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt. She says I finally had enough._

Bella ran out of Jacob's garage. As she climbed into her truck, she sobbed harder. The last thing she screamed felt like knives stabbing through my dead heart.

"EDWARD!"

_A/N: Love it, hate it? Comment on it. Review!_


	2. Tired of Waiting Jacob's POV is up!

Okay! I posted Tired of Waiting, Jacob's POV as a new story! I know some of you story-alerted Face Down, so this is for ya'll.


	3. Heartbroken

A/N: This is a real chapter post, just so you guys know! I felt terrible about giving you 2 author's notes in a row. :( I am very surprised with the response to this story! I wrote Face Down mostly for fun as a one-shot, but you guys have really taken to it and begged for more (reviews totally float my boat), so I shall write more. :) The story will mainly be in Edward/Bella POV, but for it to be in Edward's POV, we are still pretending that Alice can see Jacob in her visions. This chapter is screaming for me to write it in Jacob's POV, though. I found a perfect song for this chapter, and songfics make everything better so yay! Chapter 2 is a songfic!

Enough author rambling, time for the story!

Disclaimer: I own neither the Twilight books, nor this song.

Jacob's POV

Heartbroken

_Song: Famous Last Words_

_My Chemical Romance_

_Now I know  
That I can't make you stay.  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your_

Bella ran out of my garage. I watched her from out the window as she climbed into her truck; she was sobbing harder. The last thing she screamed felt like knives stabbing through my heart.

"EDWARD!"

_She'll never love me._

"Bella!" I yelled. "Wait!" By the time I found my voice, it was too late. Bella was gone.

_And I know  
There's nothing I can say.  
_

_To change that part.  
To change that part.  
To change_

Who am I kidding? Why would Bella come back even if she had heard me? What I did to her was unforgivable. I'm a monster. I was so wrapped up in my own selfish wants that I couldn't even see that what I was doing was hurting Bella. I had just wanted her to love me, but she wasn't even near ready for that. I confused what I wanted and what was best for Bella. She'll never come back, and I can't change that.

_So many  
Bright lights that cast a shadow.  
But can I speak?  
Well is it hard understanding  
I'm incomplete?  
A life that's so demanding  
I get so weak.  
A love that's so demanding  
I can't speak._

And now that Bella's gone, what will I do? What will _she_ do? I was her only refuge from the hurt that the _parasite_ inflicted on her. How will she survive without me, her sun? She was the only thing that kept me happy. She accepted me for what I was. How will I survive without her? Surely, we'll both die inside without each other.

_I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home._

Perhaps I can survive, in time, without her. Maybe I'll imprint on a girl who will actually love me back without limits. But what if I'm not meant to imprint? What if that girl doesn't exist? 

What if Bella was the girl I was meant to be closest to, my soul mate? If that bloodsucker hadn't come into her life, she would have been okay, maybe even happy, with all the things I just did to her. _Damn leech._

_Can you say  
My eyes are shining bright?  
'Cause I'm out here on the other side  
Of a jet-black hotel mirror  
And I'm so weak.  
Is it hard understanding  
I'm incomplete?  
A love that's so demanding  
I get weak. _

Is it so hard to understand that we need each other, Bella? My life is already darker without you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

_I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home._

Bella, please, if you come back, we can pretend this never happened. I won't make a move until you're ready, even if I think it's best. I'll be your best friend, your protector, the sun in your life and that's all I will be, unless you want more.

_I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home. _

Just come back, _please_. How could I have harmed such a beautiful girl? I sat back down on my couch. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.

_These bright lights have always blinded me.  
These bright lights have always blinded me._

I wake up and rub my eyes. I look at the clock. It's midnight. Now, I see the truth – it was too soon for her to move on. Six monthsis enough time to become a friend to someone truly broken-hearted, but not enough time to make her love you back.

_I say,  
I see you lying next to me.  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead._

I get up. I have to go see Bella. I jump on one of the motorcycles I salvaged and drive to Bella's house. The light is off in her bedroom window. The window is locked, but I silently force it up and climb into her bedroom. Her breathing is deep and slow. She is asleep on her bed. Her beautiful face is streaked with tears as if she had cried herself to sleep.

"Look what I've done. Bella, I'm so sorry." I whisper.

I brush the hair out of her pretty, innocent face. In her sleep, she pulls away from the warmth of my hand. A tear falls down my cheek.

_  
'Cause I see you lying next to me.  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead._

I lie down next to her. She pulls away from my warmth. More tears make their silent way down my cheeks.

"Please, Bella, I need you!" I whisper in her ear. "Just come back. Just come back and be my friend. My life is incomplete without you. I'll be whatever you want me to be. I love you, but I'll just love you as a friend loves a friend and nothing more for now, if you'll just come back."

_'Cause I see you lying next to me.  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead._

She frowns in her sleep and starts to thrash around in her bed.

"Edward!" She cries out, brokenhearted, her hand reaches out to no avail for him, "No, Edward, don't leave me, please!"

I didn't know she was still having nightmares about his leaving her.

_I'm such a horrible monster._

_'Cause I see you lying next to me.  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead._

I take her hand in mine.

"It's okay, Bella, I'm here." I soothe.

"Jacob?" She asks in her sleep.

"Jake!" She cries out. My heart leaps. Her tone changes to horror. "No, Jake! Please, don't! You can't. I…"

She trailed off and ripped her hand from mine. She started screaming and writhing in mental agony from the horrible things she is reliving. From the horrible things _I _did to her.

__

I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

"Bella, I'm _so_ sorry," I sobbed, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to help."

She continued to scream and cry. Suddenly, she stopped crying. The memory of when her heart broke was over; the part where my heart broke was still to come.

"Jacob, h-how could you?" She stutters in her sleep, tears run down her face.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _Please_, forgive me." I'm crying now, tears are streaming down my face.

"No, Jake, no. I'll never forgive you." As she says this, she lets out a heartbroken sob. "I thought I could count on you to help me. Why, Jake, why?"

_  
I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home._

"I'm such a monster. I'm sorry, Bella. We just need to start over, and everything will be okay."

She didn't respond.

_  
I am not afraid to keep on living.  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.  
_

_Honey, if you stay you'll be forgiven.  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home. _

I reached out to touch her face again. I brushed away the tears. She drew back from my hand, rolling off the bed in the process.

_Oh no. She's going to wake up. _

She moaned, waking from her sleep. I was already out her window and on the ground.

"Jacob?" She called. "Don't you dare come back after what you did, Jacob Black!" She yelled in anger. Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, and the tears were running down her face again.

But Jacob Black was gone. In his place, a russet brown wolf watched Bella's window from the trees. I let out a heartbroken howl before turning and running into the forest, trying desperately to leave Jacob Black and all the horrible things he had done behind me.

_A/N: Reviews float my boat!_


	4. I Need You

A/N: I love sitting down at my computer and reading the reviews for this story. :) You guys really make me want to sit down and write more and more! I'm trying really hard to make all the chapters songfics. I hope that this song fits. I've been trying really hard to match it.

I Need You

_Song: Stop and Stare_

_OneRepublic_

_This town is colder now; I think it's sick of us.  
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust.  
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here.  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years.  
Steady hands just take the wheel.  
And every glance is killing me.  
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead.  
_

Edward POV

_**Recap:**__ Bella ran out of Jacob's garage. As she climbed into her truck, she sobbed harder. The last thing she screamed felt like knives stabbing through my dead heart. _

"_EDWARD!" _

"Bella," I whispered. I was back in my room now. Alice had her hand on my shoulder. I was on the floor; my knees must have given out. A sob escaped me.

"Alice, I had no idea." My eyes were wide in horror.

"I know, Edward."

"How could I ever have thought leaving her was good for her? She needs me and I need her. Why couldn't I see that before I left her?"

"I told you not to leave her."

"Alice, I have to –"

Alice's face went blank, as I was pulled in her vision. Bella was there. The sight I saw broke my heart.

Bella was sitting on the floor in her room. Her face was blotchy from crying, and she looked immensely sad. She let out a heartbroken sigh, grabbed her bathroom bag, and started to walk towards the door. On her way, one of the floorboards squeaked. I immediately recognized it as the floorboard under 

which I had hidden all of the memories I had taken away from her. The pictures of us together, the CD with her lullaby, the tickets to Florida.

She continued to walk out of her room and towards the bathroom, but she stopped. With a sigh, she turned and walked back to her room. She set her bag down and inspected the floorboard. She put her hand on it and pressed down; it moved a little. She had a look of curiosity on her face as she pulled at the floorboard and lifted it up.

She gasped, and her face turned unnaturally pale. She passed out on the floor.

As she slept, she was still. She was out for about an hour. Near the end of the hour, she frowned in her sleep and her face was distraught. She said only one thing.

"Edward," she mumbled, "Edward, don't leave me, please. I need you."

My body shook with sobs for Bella.

"_Bella, I miss you."_

She stirred. "Edward?" She whispered. Of course, she couldn't hear me, but it still hurt.

She sat up, and looked around, disoriented. She saw the hole where I had hidden everything that could remind her of me.

She reached for a picture of us. In the picture, Bella was lying on the couch in my room, sleeping. My arms were around her, and I was watching her sleep. Tears welled up in her eyes and silently spilled down her face.

"Why'd you have to leave, Edward?"

Then she reached for the CD, and put it in her CD player. When the first notes of her lullaby played, her eyes grew wide and she let out a heartbroken cry. She put everything except the CD back into the hole and replaced the floorboard. She paused her the CD when her lullaby had played through, and cried herself to sleep.

_Stop and stare.  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared.  
But I've become what I can't be, oh.  
Stop and stare.  
You start to wonder why you're here not there.  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair.  
But fair ain't what you really need._

I was once again brought back to my room. I put my face in my hands and sobbed. I heard Alice leave the room. She understood that I needed to be alone.

_Bella, I'm such a monster. Look at what I've done to you. I told you that I'd keep you safe, keep you happy. I promised you happiness when I left you and look at you now. We both can't live without each other. What was I thinking leaving you?_

_Oh, can you see what I see?_

They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push.  
Untie the weight bags; I never thought I could.  
Steady feet don't fail me now.  
Gonna run till you can't walk.  
Something pulls my focus out.  
And I'm standing down.

Several hours later after I had finished sobbing, Alice came back into my room.

"Hey, Edward, are you feeling better?"

"I've made up my mind. I'm going to apologize to Bella and see if she'll take me back."

Alice's eyes lit up. "Oh, Edward! I knew you would! I'm so happy; I just can't wait to see Bella!"

"I need her, and she needs me."

"Bye, Edward! I'll tell everyone, and we'll get packed and move back to the Forks house!"

"Bye, Alice." I smiled. I was going to see Bella.

_Right now, we are in Nunavut, Canada. It's very cold, overcast, and sparsely populated here. If I took off running right now, I could make it to Forks by midnight._

So that's what I did. I ran full tilt through Canada and arrived in Forks at my house at 12:10 p.m. I opened the garage and hopped in my Volvo, I had left it here because it reminded me so much of Bella.

_Stop and stare.  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared.  
But I've become what I can't be, oh.  
Stop and stare.  
_

_You start to wonder why you're here not there.  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair.  
But fair ain't what you really need.  
Oh, you don't need._

What you need, what you need, what you need

I drove to Bella's house quickly. I needed to see her. Now. When I got to her house, I saw the mutt's motorcycle in her driveway.

_I think he has done enough damage, though I'm one to talk._

I pulled myself up to her window.

Bella was thrashing and writhing on the bed, obviously in the middle of a nightmare, probably reliving what Jacob had done to her.

I heard her scream, "No, Jake! Please, don't! You can't. I…"

She trailed off and ripped her hand from Jacob's. She started screaming and writhing in mental agony from the horrible things she was reliving. From the horrible things _that dog _did to her.

"Bella, I'm _so_ sorry," Jacob sobbed, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to help."

She continued to scream and cry. Suddenly, she stopped crying.

"Jacob, h-how could you?" She stuttered in her sleep, tears ran down her face.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _Please_, forgive me." Jacob is crying now, tears stream down his face.

"No, Jake, no. I'll never forgive you." As she says this, she lets out a heartbroken sob. "I thought I could count on you to help me. Why, Jake, why?"

"I'm such a monster. I'm sorry, Bella. We just need to start over, and everything will be okay."

She didn't respond.

He reached out to touch her face again, and brushed away her tears. She drew back from his hand, rolling off the bed in the process. I dropped down below her window, where she couldn't see me.

Jacob fled in such a hurry that he didn't notice me. She moaned, waking from her sleep.

"Jacob?" She called; I heard her run to her window. "Don't you dare come back after what you did, Jacob Black!" She yelled in anger. Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, and the tears were running down her face again.

But Jacob Black was gone. In his place, a russet brown wolf watched Bella's window from the trees. He let out a heartbroken howl before turning and running into the forest.

_Stop and stare.  
I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere.  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared.  
But I've become what I can't be.  
Oh, do you see what I see?_

I heard her walk back to her bed. She was still crying. I jumped back up to her windowsill quietly. Slowly, I pushed the window open. I silently jumped down onto the floor. She was curled up in a ball crying, with her face down. I sat down in the rocking chair by her bed and waited for her to fall back asleep. Eventually, she slumped over and stopped crying; she was finally asleep. I smiled and got up; I lied down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. It felt wonderful. This was what I needed; this is where I belonged.

"Edward?" She mumbled in her sleep.

_My angel is calling me. _I smiled, cherishing the moment.

"Bella, I love you." I replied.

"Oh, great," she mumbled sleepily, "I'm finally losing my mind."

Her eyes slowly opened.

"It is you." She breathed.

"Bella, I love you."

"Edward!" She screamed, excited.

I lifted her chin up towards my face, and our lips met. We kissed fervently for what seemed like a long time. I broke away to let Bella breathe. She hugged me.

"Edward, I missed you _so _much."

"I know, Bella, I'm sorry that I ever left you. It will never happen again. I love you."

"I love you, too."

With that, we were making out again.

_A/N: Okay, so to stop any confusion before it starts: Bella just woke up from sleeping, she is still sleepy, this is a dream come true to her. She will come to terms with why Edward left her and such later. She was sleepy and sad and then BAM! Edward to the rescue! If I was in her shoes, I think I'd be pretty happy and just forget everything, too._

_Your reviews have kept this story going! I love to read them. They make my day. :)_


	5. I'm Not Okay

A/N: Sorry this chapter was a little slow. I didn't have many reviews to motivate me. So many hits, yet so few reviews. I would like to recognize the people who did review. This chapter is dedicated to them – edward is my homeboy (though the threat kinda scared me…), bubbz (thanks for the motivation!), tigger167 (the only person excited about Edward's return, apparently), and Edward4eva (thanks for following my stories from the beginning!)

Disclaimer: I own neither the Twilight books, nor this song.

I'm Not Okay

_Song: I'm Not Okay (I Promise)_

_My Chemical Romance_

_Well, if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go.  
It's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks,  
The photographs your boyfriend took.  
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor? _

I ran out of Jacob's garage crying. As I climbed into my truck, I began sobbing harder.Why had Edward left me? He told me it was better for me this way. Look at me. I'm a mess without Edward. I couldn't take it anymore. All the anger and frustration from Edward's leaving me had to go. I know he won't be able to hear me because Alice isn't supposed to watch me anymore, but I had to scream. My heart was breaking even more. 

"EDWARD!" I screamed as loud as I could. I tried to scream again, but I couldn't scream anymore.

"Edward, I need you. Come back," I whispered. No one could hear me but myself. I'm alone.

_I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
You wear me out. _

I started up the truck and drove away, tears blurring my vision. Five miles later, I pulled over on the rough shoulder and broke down. I'm not okay. I can't take it. I've lost Edward and now Jacob. Whom can I turn to?

A small part of me expected to hear the car door open and for strong arms to wrap around me and tell me that it's okay. It never happened; I guess I'll never accept that he's not coming back.

After I had cried for an hour, I started my truck back up and slowly drove home. By the time that I finally got home, it was 10:30 p.m. Charlie was sitting on the couch waiting for me. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it when he saw tears falling down my face.

__

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
I've told you time and time again, you sing the words but dunno what it means  
To be a joke and look,  
Another line without a hook,  
I held you close as we both shook.

_For the last time, take a good hard look. _

I trudged up the stairs with my head down. When I made it to my room, I fell back onto my bed and let my emotions out. I was bawling now; I couldn't slow the tears, and I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him. I wished for cold arms to hold me as I cried. I wished for his velvet voice to comfort me. I wished for his smoldering golden eyes that would make me forget why I was sad. I wished that he hadn't left. I tried to roll off the bed and onto my feet, but I ended up sitting on the floor. The sudden movement had shocked me out of crying. I didn't feel like moving, so I just sat on the floor.

_I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
You wear me out._

_I had better get ready for bed. _I thought

I sighed, got up, and grabbed my bathroom bag. On my way to the door, one of the floorboards squeaked. Once I got into the hallway, my curiosity got the best of me. I walked back towards the floorboard.

_This is stupid. It's just a squeaky floorboard._

Nevertheless, I set my bag down and stared at the floorboard. I bent down and pressed down on it a little. It moved. I pulled at the floorboard; it came up easily.

What I saw made me gasp in shock. I passed out.

_Forget about the dirty looks.  
The photographs your boyfriend took.  
You said you read me like a book.  
But the pages are all torn and frayed out. _

My sleep was mostly dreamless; near the end, though, my mind replayed the painful memory of Edward leaving me.

I frowned. "Edward, Edward, don't leave me, please. I need you."

I was pulled out of my dream, but right before, I could have sworn that I heard Edward's velvety voice say, "Bella, I miss you."

"Edward?" I whispered.

I sat up, and looked around, disoriented. I saw the hole again. In it were all the things Edward had taken from me. Pictures of us, the CD with my lullaby, plane tickets to Florida, and everything else.

One picture in particular caught my attention. I reached for a picture of us. I didn't remember this one. In the picture, I was lying on the couch in his room, sleeping. His arms were around me, and he was watching me sleep. He had a look of pure love in his eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes and silently spilled down my face.

"Why'd you have to leave, Edward?" I whispered.

_I'm okay.  
I'm okay.  
I'm okay now.  
But you really need to listen to me.  
Because I'm telling you the truth.  
I mean this,  
I'm okay._

Then I reached for the CD, and put it in the CD player. When the first notes of my lullaby played, my eyes grew wide and I couldn't contain the heartbroken cry that came from my lips. I put everything except the CD back into the hole and replaced the floorboard.

I paused the CD when my lullaby had played through. I couldn't take it anymore. I laid back down on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

My dreams were a repeat of what had happened earlier. Jacob was trying to prove his love to me again, and I was trying desperately to escape.

_Trust me.  
I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
Well, I'm not okay.  
I'm not o-f–ing-kay.  
_

"No, Jake! Please, don't! You can't. I…" I screamed. He was ripping my clothes off, throwing them to the floor.

I screamed. We had just become one. It hurt so bad, and in two different ways. Jacob wasn't supposed to be doing this, Edward was.

I stopped crying. The deed was done. He pulled away from me.

"Jacob, h-how could you?" I stuttered, I started crying again.

Jacob was trying to apologize, but I can never forgive him.

"No, Jake, no. I'll never forgive you." I sobbed. "I thought I could count on you to help me. Why, Jake, why?"

I felt his warm hand on my face. I couldn't take it, I tried to roll off the couch away from him.

_I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay._

I moaned, waking from my horrible dream.

"Jacob?" I called. I know he was just here. I ran to my window. "Don't you dare come back after what you did, Jacob Black!" I yelled. My voice broke at the end of my sentence, and I was crying again.

I walked back to my bed, still crying. I plopped down on my bed and curled up with my head on my knees. She was still crying. I cried until I could cry no more, and I finally slumped over and drifted into pleasant dreams.

Edward was there.

"Edward?" I mumbled.

We were lying on the grass in our meadow. His arms were around me, his lips at my ear. He was murmuring comforting words to me.

"Bella, I love you." He murmured in my ear.

His voice was too real; I woke from my sleep. I could still feel the cold, hard arms around me.

"Oh, great," I mumbled sleepily, "I'm finally losing my mind."

_Maybe my hallucinations will go away if I open my eyes. _ I slowly opened my eyes.

The face I saw was too perfect to be a dream. Golden eyes stared into mine with love.

"It is you." I breathed.

"Bella, I love you." His voice was velvet and honey.

"Edward." I said, amazed that he was actually here.

He lifted my chin up towards his face, and our lips met. We kissed fervently for what seemed like a long time. He broke away to let me breathe. I was gasping for breath. I hugged him.

"Edward, I missed you somuch."

"I know, Bella, I'm sorry that I ever left you. It will never happen again. I love you." He _does_ love me.

"I love you, too." I was ecstatic.

With that, we were making out again.

_A/N: Yayyy! Bella's POV. I just had to write it. Reviews are what keep me putting chapters out. I was sad when I only got a few reviews on the last chapter, so that's why this one was a little slower. Sorry 'bout that. But I just wasn't motivated. I'm glad I finally got it out, though. So… Review!_


	6. Beat It

_**A/N: Okay. So I know I never announced that I was going to abruptly drop off the face of the earth and stop writing this story because I really just stopped thinking about it. I guess I just lost motivation or whatever. But I was looking through my files and found it today, and remembered it. So I finished this chapter. I want to write more whenever I'm in the mood. (And am not swamped with homework and the like.) I really hope that I still have some readers out there. :) I'm sorry about the 4 month delay. I really am. But I've updated now!! I hope you enjoy it, anyway.**_

Disclaimer: I own neither this song nor the _Twilight _books. _But I do, however, own an imagination._ :D

**Beat It**

_Song: Beat It_

_Fall Out Boy (Featuring John Mayer)_

_Edward POV_

"Bella," I whispered in her ear, making her shiver, "You're tired. Go to sleep."

"No, Edward, I'm really not." She yawned.

I smiled, pulling a blanket over her and wrapping my arms around her.

"Edward, I –"

"Bella, shh. You can tell me in the morning," I murmured. "Go to sleep." I began to hum her lullaby.

She smiled and her eyelids drooped.

"Edward," she mumbled, "What if you're not here in the morning?"

"I'll be here as long as you want me here." I promised.

"I want you here."

"I'll be here."

I kissed her warm forehead and began humming her lullaby again. Her eyes closed, and her breathing soon deepened. My favorite part of watching Bella sleep came next.

"Edward?" She called in her sleep. "Edward where are you?"

I hugged her tight.

"Oh, Edward, I missed you," she sighed, a smile played across her beautiful face. "I love you."

I don't deserve someone as wonderful as Bella. I left her, and she still loves me. I got lost in my own thoughts and listening to Bella's sleep talking.

_They told him don't you ever come around here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it_

And then I smelled _it_. Dog. Jacob Black. Why was he coming back? Hadn't he done enough? Can he not just stay away? I had two options: I could jump out of the window and confront Jacob now, or I could wait in Bella's room for him to find me. I was definitely not going to leave Bella with that mutt.

Then I could hear Jacob's thoughts. I could see that he had run off into the woods and was returning to check on Bella. He just couldn't stay away. He was debating on whether or not to go back to see Bella again.

_I know she hates me, but I just have to see her face. One look and I'll leave. _

I silently hid in the shadows in the corner of Bella's room. Jacob was at the windowsill now.

_I can't smell anything. _He thought _My nose must be stopped up from crying._

He climbed into the room. His breathing caught when he saw Bella smiling sweetly in her sleep.

_She's so beautiful. I bet she is dreaming of our happy days. She'll come back around eventually. _

_You better run, you better do what you can  
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad_

"She never will. You're a horrible monster for doing that to her." My tone was cold.

He jumped; he had had no idea that I was watching him. A low growl rumbled deep in his chest. His hands were shaking. I held up a finger to my lips.

"Wouldn't want to wake Charlie, now, would we?"

"_Haven't you done enough damage, leech? Do you know how much you've hurt her?" _He yelled in his mind.

"I'll never be able to forgive myself for that, but it seems I'm not the only one to have hurt her."

His mind flashed back to her crying on that night; he cringed mentally.

"_Shut up, bloodsucker."_

His body was shaking violently.

"Jacob, why don't you leave? You are endangering your health, and worse, Bella's."

"_I'd never hurt her on purpose," he growled._

"You already have."

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it_

He leapt at me, morphing into a wolf in the air. I couldn't let Charlie or Bella hear us; I had to get us outside quickly. His weight slammed into me, pushing me back against the open 

window. I leaned back, flipping backwards out the window, taking Jacob with me. We were airborne. He struggled beneath me, trying to flip our positions.

_Damn it. _He growled. _If I can't get the leech to break my fall, I'm in big trouble._

Then Sam's thoughts were in his head, too.

Sam was running through the forest near La Push.

"_Jacob? What's happening?"_

We hit the ground with a sickening crunch, the sound of Jacob's bones breaking. He let out a whimper.

"_Jacob! Phase back, we're coming."_

_Ugghhh. Must phase back. _His mind was in turmoil as he tried to return to his human form. He yelped in pain as he phased back.

_Ribs hurt, can't feel legs._

I got off him, and took in the scene. We had fallen just on the edge of the forest by Bella's house. Jacob was lying broken on the ground. Both of Jacob's legs looked completely wrong. One was bent mid-calf; the other was bent the wrong way at the knee.

_This is all your fault, bloodsucker. _

"You jumped at me." I reminded him.

_You'll pay._

_They're out to get you, better leave while you can  
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it_

His mind went back in time, struggling to bring something to the surface. He finally got to what he wanted.

_It was dark. A beautiful voice was gasping, "He's gone, he's gone." I quickly recognized it as Bella's voice. "Bella?" Called in an unfamiliar voice as I moved towards a place in the forest where there were fewer trees; the place the voice was coming from. Then I saw her. What a pathetic sight. She was lying on the damp ground. Her eyes were wide in shock. She stared off into the forest, not seeming to actually see anything. She didn't even notice my coming. "Bella, my name is Sam Uley. Charlie sent me to look for you." I said, trying desperately to break the trance she was in._

A wave of pain washed through me, Jacob's thoughts changed.

_Bella. Bella was walking up the sidewalk to Jacob's house. She looked pathetic. Her eyes were sunken, with dark circles underneath. Her skin was paler than normal, and her hands were around her torso. It looked as if she was holding herself together. She looked so pathetic. I knew she was thinking about me, or rather, trying not to._

This memory hurt worse than any physical damage that dog could have done. It hurt worse than when Jane used her "talent" on me. I caused that. _I _hurt_ Bella._

I tried to control the pain this was causing me, to hide it away from Jacob.

He was smiling smugly and laughing.

_That's funny. _He thought. _I can hurt you without touching you._

_You have to show them that you're really not scared  
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
They'll kick you, then they beat you,  
Then they'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad_

I walked over to Jacob and stood over him.

"Seeing as you can't move, you're not in much of a position to be fighting."

"I _can_ move. I'll keep Bella safe from you." He made an effort to move his legs, but gasped in pain and ceased trying to move.

"I could kill you right now," I mused aloud.

_"I dare you." _He snarled. "_I have nothing to live for; Bella hates me. Even if she somehow forgives me for what I've done, she'll never love me again."_

"You're right. Although it is tempting not to, I'll spare your life if you stay out of hers."

_"Just kill me."_

"No, I don't think I will," I chuckled grimly. "Now you'll know how it feels to live without her. Stay out of her life, or next time, I will take yours."

_Damn leech._

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it_

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it

"Goodbye, Jacob." I kicked his head, just hard enough to make him pass out, and pushed him, with my foot, into the forest and out of sight.

His thoughts abruptly cut off, leaving me in silence to think about what I had just done.

I decided that I wasn't sorry.

_**a/n: Love it? Hate it? I suck after not writing for 4 months? Tell me. (:**_


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